Teixeira and Team Hatred

So the Braves traded for Mark Teixeira. It appears they think they can make the playoffs now. Frankly I’m unconvinced the Braves actually got the better end of this deal, especially long-term. I know, obviously the Braves are concerned with 2007 here but still.

I almost wish that the Cubs weren’t playing four games against the Phillies right now because I want the Phillies to keep winning and stay in 2nd place in the NL East. I would LOVE to see the Braves fall short of the postseason after this trade. No worries, the Phillies will have plenty more chances to win after this week at Wrigley.

But since Migames is a good place for me to let off steam and hatred (and love of course, for people like Ted Lilly, etc) I thought I needed to update my list of MLB teams and how I feel about them. We’ll start at the bottom…

TEAMS THAT DESERVE (AND HAVE) MY UNDYING HATRED
30. Cardinals– I grew in Central Illinois where most people were either Cubs or Cardinals fans so I have had to put with Cardinals fans from day one. They are the Cubs long-time divisional rivals and having an overrated asshole manager like LaRussa and a whiner superstar like Pujols in addition to the epitome of suck in Eckstein does not help them one bit. McGwire was another big reason to hate the Cardinals. Sammy Sosa deserves no less contempt but at least he left Chicago in shame and plays for the Rangers now.

29. Braves– I’ve always hated the Braves but it was only amplified this year when Tim Hudson beaned Soriano with a first-pitch fastball one day after he hit 3 HR in one game against them. BABIES! Not only that but when Ted Lilly hit Edgar Renteria and Lilly got tossed in the next game, Renteria bitched and whined and then smacked Mike Fontenot in the face sliding into second base after taking first. What a little bitch! I hate Bobby Cox and I hate Chipper Jones. I always have. The Braves finishing behind the Phillies this year would make me happy to no end.

28. Red Sox– There are way too many things to hate about the Red Sox to list here. Their fans, Theo Epstein, the way the national media thinks they are among the only two teams in baseball (with the Yankees), etc. And they are in the American League and have virtually no effect on the Cubs. They are just that hateable.

27. Astros– The Astros are just sad. They have ugly uniforms and play in Houston. Craig Biggio, who stuck around just to get 3000 hits while playing his entire career for losers like the Astros, is the face of the franchise. Just sad, I cant stand them.

26. Rangers– Another pathetic team from Texas. The GM is a moron and they sign people like Sammy Sosa (ie. washed up veterans). The owner is a rich idiot (see: ARod contract) and together they know nothing about assembling a decent baseball team.

TEAMS I JUST DON’T LIKE
25. Padres– I really wanted to like them since their AAA team plays in Portland. But after the Chris Young incident with Derrek Lee, I knew there was no way I could ever like them. And they actually thought they could improve their team by taking Michael Barrett. A very hateable decision. I also hate Jake Peavy and David Wells for whining about Soriano’s supposed “showing off” after taking Wells deep. Shut up and play the game, you got smoked. Sorry Maddux, your new team is full of assholes. At least you dont still play for the Braves.

24. Yankees– I dont wish them ill-will as much as I have in the past. I think Migames has something to do with it. But I still dont like them and never will. The thought of being at Yankee Stadium makes me want to throw up.

23. Giants– Barry Bonds. 1989 NLCS. I dont like the Giants.

22. Mets– Most everything about New York bothers me. I dont like the Mets but there isn’t anything I can point to as a reason. They are just the New York Mets, why would I like them? I hate teams that are rumored to be involved in every big name trade at the deadline and every big free agent signing. Like, hmm, the Red Sox, Braves, Yankees, and Mets.

TEAMS I DONT CARE ABOUT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
21. Diamondbacks– They have ugly uniforms and they signed Randy Johnson to supposedly help them this year. Thats sad. They also have no interesting players.

20. Dodgers– I really hated them last year after Furcal got Derrek Lee injured. Right now I don’t see much reason to care about them. JD Drew doesnt play there anymore. Maddux left them and Izturis isnt on the Cubs so that trade doesnt sting so much anymore. I bet Dodger stadium would be a fun place to watch a game.

19. Orioles– Another really sad team. I dont like Corey Patterson and no matter what they do they will always be terrible. If they ever finish above New York or Boston in the standings I will like them a lot more.

18. White Sox– Hated them as a kid, now I could care less what they do. I hate Hawk and DJ but I never have to listen to them because I don’t watch the Sox.

17. Rockies– Boring. But out of anyone I’d rather they win the NL West. Yeah, not gonna happen this year.

16. Devil Rays– I like Carl Crawford. Will they ever be a major league team? Don’t know, but again, it’d be nice to see someone else compete in the AL East.

15. A’s– I’m not a fan, but if they ever won the World Series somehow I’d be fine with it.

14. Indians– Its hard to imagine a team I could feel more indifference towards.

13. Royals– Oh wait, maybe the Royals.

12. Nationals– Almost identical to the Rays in patheticness. I’d like to see them succeed but I don’t really care. I actually liked listened to Don Sutton as their color guy when the played the Cubs. Their announcers talked actual baseball, a huge plus.

11. Brewers– I’m no Prince Fielder fan, and you’d think I’d dislike them more as the Cubs top competition this year. But if they werent in the NL Central I’d actually be pulling for them a little bit this year. But I won’t feel bad when they don’t make the playoffs.

10. Twins– I allllllmost want to like the Twins. But why?

TEAMS IT’S HARD FOR ME NOT TO LIKE A LITTLE

9. Pirates– They play in the NL Central, their announcers are complete jackasses, Paul Maholm and Gorzellany look the same and are as ugly as it gets, their red, yellow, and black jerseys are the WORST in the league, but I still can’t help but almost like them. I like Ian Snell, Shane Youman, and even Zach Duke. I even like Xavier Nady and Jason Bay. They gave the Cubs Aramis and they took Izturis off our hands. The Pirates, eh, they are ok.

8. Reds– I really like Griffey and Josh Hamilton. Without these two on the team, they Reds would be in the “I dont care” group.

7. Marlins– I dont hold 2003 against Bartman, and I dont hold it against the Marlins. I hold it against Alou, Prior, Sosa, and other people I dont like that played for the Cubs. Not Kerry Wood though. Anyway, the Marlins I don’t mind. I like it when they win and I like Dontrelle Willis.

6. Blue Jays– I wouldn’t say I’m a Blue Jays FAN, but if they ever won the AL East, I would be thrilled.

5. Angels– Yes, they play in Orange County and are technically called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. But they actually have a pretty cool team this year. I like Escobar, K-Rod, and Lackey. I like Figgins, Cabrera and Vlad. Its a cool team, hard not to like.

4. Phillies– There isn’t really anything to dislike about the Phillies and a lot to like. It sucks that Utley got injured. They’ve got cool players and they could actually have a shot at winning the NL East sometime soon.

3. Mariners– Ichiro is awesome. And they as “home-town” as it gets for Portland.

2. Tigers– Magglio, Guillen, Polanco, Granderson, Inge, Robertson, Bonderman, Verlander. Leyland. Even Pudge. I have a little Tiger pride from living near Detriot for a couple years as a kid. But mostly they have a cool team and I had fun rooting for them last year when the Cubs took the season off. They are a major reason I love baseball so much right now.

THE TEAM I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE
1. Cubs– Obviously.

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One response

  1. So we come in at 24…I guess if i had to make a list, i would place the cubs 2nd, because they are no threat to the yankees. Ever.

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