yes, the homerun derby is, in fact, for retards

here is one way that you can tell: straight from mlb.com: counting crows kick off derby! i actually thought it was an Onion article when i first saw it. it kinda reminds me of this Onion article. and it even reads a little bit like one…

The band, which formed in the early 1990s in Berkeley, Calif., and shot to stardom on the strength of its 1993 debut album, August and Everything After, and its ubiquitous hit single, “Mr. Jones,” has sold more than 20 million albums worldwide, garnered an Academy Award nomination, and is still going strong.

i wonder what they mean by “going strong”, seeing as how the only album they deem worthy of a mention is one they put out 14 years ago. and i bet what they mean by the “ubiquitous” mr. jones is that you bet your ass they are going to be playing that song at the home run derby because it will NEVER go away, they have nothing else anyone cares about, and if you actually want to hear that song again then you and the home run derby deserve each other.

the article actually goes on to advertise an upcoming tour for the Crows with “fellow platinum rock acts” Live and Collective Soul. and as if that wasn’t enough to get you heading to your nearest ticketmaster agent, the one and only Third Eye Blind will be joining in at “select gigs”!!! they do realize that its not 1993 anymore, right? or is the home run derby perpetually stuck in its inaugural year?

Instead of obvious choices for venues, the tour will wind its way through towns slightly off the beaten path and smaller ballparks that bustle with enthusiastic crowds and homespun charm.

and what are these “obvious choices” for venues? not enough homespun charm in the counting crows guitarist mom’s backyard? or did they actually think they where going to sell out madison square garden? i hear wrigley field is a good place for comeback bands to perform! or do the bulk of your platinum selling albums still have to be in people’s possession instead of collecting dust in the used bins in sets of 10 or more at crappy record stores across the country?

speaking of the Onion though, i did actually find something of interest to this blog there the other day. see this post for more information.

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One response

  1. I was sitting on my couch, debating if I should go for a jog, and the homerun derby started, and there was counting crows, singing. I went straight to migames but saw that you already blogged about it. The escences of migames.

    Wow, if this couldnt get any crappier, Chris Berman is doing the play by play with Joe Morgan and Dusty “Base Clogger” Baker doing the color. I think I might go for a jog

    Chris Berman just said: Albert “Winnie the” Pujols

    New Nicknames for Chris Berman
    Chris “its 20 degree outside” Berman
    or how bout Chris “kill yourself” Berman

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